I see everything as a personal challenge.

Everything.

Before you jump to conclusions, and call me competitive, or childish, think for a moment and hear me out.  Everyone is taught to set goals for themselves right?  In fact, in weight loss programs, for example, they tell you to set small goals that are reachable and will make you feel good about yourself.  So why not do this in your real life?  Just don't tell anyone, lest you scare them out of being their friend (because of their clear inferiority, seeing as they have won none of these silent challenges).

We have already discussed my slight obsessions with buffets.  Let's look at it from another angle.  It doesn't have to be that strange lady who puts rolls in her purse and eats four plates of food while denying medical attention because she is sure that if she just lets it digest a bit she can eat more.  It can be that woman who is single-handedly taking down the man by decreasing profits and increasing a health care bill that she will pay for on government insurance.  Yet - as I lay there in the booth convincing whichever unlucky boyfriend (not for long) I have managed to coerce into coming with me, into getting me another plate..  No one thinks me a hero.

It isn't just buffets that I win at either.  I win at everything in my little world.  If we're walking to the door, and I am ahead of you, you can be sure that in my head I am thinking 'bahaha sucker'.  If we're talking on the phone, and I make a quick run to hang up, hanging up before you counts as a win in my book.  I am not crazy, I am self motivating.  I directly attribute my high self-esteem to my ability to win at everything.

Moreso, on the rare occasion that I lose, no one knows.  Recently, and I will leave names out of this so said competitor does not know he won, but I lost a pizza eating contest.  I was the only one participating in the contest, and I cannot even begin to tell you how much pizza was consumed throughout the 30 minutes I sat at the table, but I can say that I felt horribly ill for hours, and the other person continued to eat.  While it was shameful, seeing as not only did they clearly win the contest, but they didn't even know thus didn't try, I did not have to tell them they won and never had to put up with gloating.. Just a few awkward looks because I seriously ate an inhumane amount of pizza.  It's ok, I wasn't trying to woo them so there was no need to look feminine.

The long and short of this is..  Set personal challenges, win at everything.  Like a boss diva.