There's nothing worse than being someone's friend 'on-the-side', except that they seem to think you don't know that you are. Maybe they have good intentions, they haven't had time to talk to you recently, or you've just slipped your mind.. Call me cynical, but truly if their facebook reads that they're sad because all of their friends are away and then suddenly they want to know why I don't call them.. Really? Do they think I am stupid? That playful 'hehe we never talk any more' doesn't take away from the fact that they've clearly stated none of their friends are around to talk.
I don't know if they think I am just desperately waiting around for friends, or if I genuinely have got so much spare time that I happen to be around whenever they want to talk, but either way, it's offensive. Don't they feel bad? Don't they have other things to do? Do they crave human attention so much that they can't let their friends be away without finding their friend on-the-side to moan to? It's difficult for me to understand, because I crave the opposite, I crave 'me' time. I need to be alone in my own thoughts with no one calling me or texting me.
Then, if I do give in and meet for a coffee, it always turns into a 'why don't you call me any more' thing. Why don't I call you?? Why would I? I haven't got anything to say, and neither have you, which is why you haven't called me either. Why would they bother playing all high and mighty like they're making so much effort to keep your friendship intact, when in fact, they only put in effort when they feel alone? Or even worse, when they make you their 'project'. Do you truly think I am that sad? No, I don't want to go out with your boyfriend's friend who just got out of a two year relationship and needs a woman in his life. I also don't want to teach English to your second cousin for a discount because we're 'friends'. I don't need new clothes and I don't need a make-over. It's amazing how much they know exactly what I need from life considering they've not been in it for a while.
This goes back to why am clearly not relationship bound. There's nothing wrong with some time away from your partner. What ever happened to 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'? A couple needs to be as strong together as they are apart. This applies to friendships too. If your friendship means anything, no one plays the stupid 'why haven't we talked omg!' game. You've not got to be stuck down each other's throats in order to maintain a friendship. We know why we haven't talked, we're busy, and now we're talking, because we're friends. It's not that difficult.
This means I don't want to hear that I owe you a coffee, that I haven't called you, that I have left you 'abandoned', or even that I never make time for you... Especially if this is the first time you've contacted me in months and you have recently had one of the following happen to you: you have been ill, your boyfriend/girlfriend left you, your friends all went on vacation, you lost your job.
And I really don't want to date any friends of friends.