Saturday, November 3, 2012

Let me break down for you some more reasons I hate relationships.

I know that it's not normal for people to stay friends with their ex boyfriends.  I have been told many times, by many people, that what I do is not normal.  I just frankly can't understand it.  Your boyfriend/girlfriend should be your best friend that you have a romantic spark with and it creates sexual intimacy.  Well, when the intimacy dies, you don't have to lose your best friend too.  I see it as an opportunity for either me to be honest with them, or them with me, about having lost that spark, but still wanting a friendship.  Obviously, it's not easy at first, you have routines to kiss hello and goodbye, and whatnot.. But it's not impossible.

Every time my friend gets a girlfriend, I go through the same thing.  'She's insanely jealous', or 'She thinks you're trying to break us up'.  Existing is not a proactive bitch move, and I don't understand how they justify some of the things they say.  Often, what I really want to say to them is "There's a reason we broke up, and it's the same reason we're not together, we don't love each other."..  (and on the rare occasion "clearly things were better for you, because if you're sleeping with the same man I slept with, you'd not be his girlfriend any more."), but being the good friend that I am, I keep my mouth shut.

The notion you're anyone's first and only love, is a bit arrogant.  And if you truly believe that there is no woman or man greater than you or that your boyfriend/girlfriend truly has never felt these feelings before, you're arrogant.

This idea that some people have, that their boyfriend/girlfriend should have never loved before them..  or even more arrogant that before them it was impossible to know what love is.. Is stupid.  It's stupid and it shows how little you know about men/women and their needs as human beings.

Looking at this from another angle, had they ever actually been with someone who at the age of, let's say 25, had never loved before..  They'd hate it.  It's like having a puppy for a partner (and not in that cute adorable way I dream about.)  They follow you everywhere, their emotions are fragile and easily hurt, you suddenly become responsible for them more like a parent and less like a lover.  It's not ideal, everyone needs to be that stupid boyfriend/girlfriend once in their life to learn how to control their hormones and how to be a partner.

It's like your first car.  You don't buy a BMW for your first car.  You get a junker, albeit a junker you love, but it's still a piece of crap that is OK to back into the mailbox and destroy your lawn. (it only happened to me once, and after said event it was fine because there was no mailbox in my way any more.)

You can't reason with someone who isn't reasonable.  I have learned from experience that telling somebody that their actions are irrational only leads to more problems, and much more crazy.  Worse still, taking matters into your own hands and talking to her yourself, explaining that you're no longer in love.  I still haven't quite figured out why this is the wrong move, but I have been assured it is.

All I can say is that whomever my very lucky boyfriend may be:  You're welcome because I am so awesome and not crazy. (3 weeks of the month.)


  1. Poorly written. Lacks expansive vocabulary. And worst of all, you sound bitter as hell against your ex's apparent new love.

    1. I can only assume I know you but you aren't interested in saying who you are.

  2. maxi --- i agree with the "anonymous" above (although i believe u are a fine writer. not outstanding, but fine enough). however, this blog is a bit... embaressing. you do sound awfully bitter and many entries just seem like you bragging about how charming and lovely you are. maybe choose a new subject, change the content up a bit, or let go of the past and its relationships

    1. Fair enough - Though who is calling me maxi? I'm not sure I would call it embarrassing. I think anyone who read this and knew the situation I was in would find it rather entertaining, which tells me that neither of you commenters are good mates of mine. Most posts on this blog are a year old, and were more aimed towards self deprecating humour, as, I mostly consider myself a bit clumsy and more or less just managing through life and awkward situations that most people manage to navigate without problems. I do think I am charming and loved, but, not for my amazingness, but because I am a bit 'special' at times. I mostly try to write to maintain my English, as I am losing more and more of it every day. Truthfully, anonymous, I am just glad to write what's on my mind. Sorry if you find me arrogant or you think this post sounds in any way bitter. To be frank, both of my exes where this is a problem are great friends, and the only thing I am bitter about is that this has suddenly become a choice between their new love and our friendship. I don't think that's fair to do to anyone. My new love never asked that of me.

      I haven't been called Maxi in about 4 years.. Who are you?